Saturday, August 27, 2005
a birthday wish...
its weird, i am 1 day away from my bday. i just dont feel the urge to celebrate. just feels like another day. another day in misery. so much of me hopes you would call or maybe msg me and say something. But until now, there is a silence. Your ignorance hurts. You've cut me off like an amputated limb. its like you dont even care. its hurts. out of all the people in the whole wide world, i wished i could've spent my special day with you, just you. More so it doesn't seem like a day to celebrate but a reminder and a benchmark to remind me of my pain. that its been 8 months and 28 days since you've broken my heart. WHY ? WHY did you have to hurt me this way? why can't i get outta this fuckin rutt? Tmr is my 10km charity run. I'm gonna run every single centimetre of that run, not to be garang or for bragging rights. But this one is for me, to push my limits, to run my pain away. I'm running my pain away, until my aching body gives out and my legs break off from under me. I'd rather hurt somewhere else than in my heart. I'm lost without you, you don't even acknowledge me online...it cuts deep. no words can describe the feelings and joy you brought me, no one can ever understand what you meant to me. When u broke my heart on that rainy new year's morning, it was like you abandoned me in an empty field to die. I hate my birthday, its such a terrible reminder. And no matter how much my heart wishes you were here lying next to me on my special day, or sitting across from me at the dinner table or holding my hand to cut my cake, there is a lonely silence. A cold, painful dying silence. I wouldn't have minded spending tmr with you ...but i guess thats just another lost dream........just you ju.....just you..
bradass at 8/27/2005 11:10:00 AM