Friday, September 23, 2005
it is gone
love ...sigh...i dont even know what that is anymore? it use to be this wonderful feeling that would make me feel like i'm alive. I use to be in love. once. such a wonderous feeling to have that someone. and u know deep down that no matter what would happen...u could always go back to that person. so much shared. now, i'm utterly disgusted at the feeling. cheated perhaps. i look around and i see couples, how does one know that he/she is in love? what does love mean? to think about going thru another heart wrenching relationship just makes me tired....it is gone...that feeling of love doesn't fill my soul anymore.
was at walas tonite...and off course the unexpected was playing. Shirlyn sang some really sad songs. Made me think about her and remember all those happy times. I look at myself now and it just makes me sad....to imagine how i was once filled with love and care...and now i'm just this lonely fool who can't even feel love anymore....my bleeding heart weeps...time and time i replay in my mind how good it could've been and how much i loved her. And then i remember that day...that horrifying heart breaking day....and that she just took my joy away.....i'm disgusted at myself for loving her so much...and yet disgusted for still loving her now...why do i have this undying love and miss for this person? i just dont understand...will this hurt go? how much do i have to run and move on before it leaves me in peace...it haunts me....how will this all end? as such i am alone now...it is gone...that feeling ....gone
damien rice - blowers daughter
jonny cash - hurt
bradass at 9/23/2005 01:55:00 AM