Monday, June 19, 2006
bang bang
today is a great day for me
i'm one step closer to ORDing, i did my ORD shoot today
and i got marksman ...woo...200 smackeroos in the bank.
so i'm pretty stoked about it.
plus my wall project is 90% complete, just need to pin up the photos.
i'm so glad.
today i feel thoroughly contented.
bradass at 6/19/2006 11:15:00 PM
Sunday, June 11, 2006
sunday morning rain
well last night..was pleasant
hung out with carina and her friends
had a couple of drinks ..
woke up this morning gasping for air...
i had dreamt that my camera was falling apart while i was tryin to use it
the lens started to fall apart
the camera body was loose and parts dropped out
and i had no idea to fix it ...i was kinda upset when i open my eyes this morning
and when i woke up ...i felt a sense of relief that it was all but a dream
maybe the dream was tryin to tell me something
that when things fall apart...you can't always fix them
or you can't always be in control of everything
or you're just shit outta luck when things fcuk up lolol
oh well
the pitter patter sounds of the rain is comforting
tucked under my blanket i shall continue to snooze
ahhh...lovely....rain away
bradass at 6/11/2006 09:11:00 AM
Friday, June 09, 2006
gahh! fcuk the world!
weird mood today ...dont give a fcuk about the world..
maybe its coz my infactuation will kill me ..
why is it so? if only she knew...sigh
oh well ...i think i'm not gonna dwell on it too much ..
if it works out ..then great....
if not ...so be it....
watched hard gay today ...fcukin hilarious! Hoooooo! say say say!
bradass at 6/09/2006 11:29:00 PM
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Blind
Lifehouse - Blind
I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like is was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
bradass at 6/07/2006 01:48:00 AM
Sunday, June 04, 2006
i want to marry the silence
well today was a lovely day.
being sunday ..off course i was at the beach hanging with jo...
then we packed up after there wasn't anymore sun
had some shopping therapy ..coz we went to flash & splash to check out the sales for the Great Singapore Sale period...then over to suntec convention to check out some warehouse clothes sale...off course i spent a bomb..sigh...need to conserve funds..jeez..i bumped into a ba-gillion people...
it was great bumping into big ben..haven't seen him since i've got back from the states..so it was good to chat and catch up. then after, we hung with gilly and gang at carls jr. after a heavy and wonderful dinner. it was a very pleasant and good day today! i'm contented..
ok now on to the next part...
i refer to my entry on 20th March 2006 titled "silent wonders".
after hanging out with gilly and peeps....mel drove me to thompson to take the bus home...and low and behold who boarded the bus a few stops after me...the mute girl.
how could i forget her beauty and face. immediately when she got on the bus i knew it was her. then off course she signed to her friend, confirming it was her. She wore simple clothes, jeans and a turqouise blue tee. she sat silently reading her school book. i was dazzled by her silent beauty.
i thought to myself, while listening to frou frou on my ipod, how nice it would be to marry a person who you can't communicate with. becoz i can't plainly tell her i love her, nor can i just say it to her whenever. but it would have so much more meaning and feeling when we kissed, or holding her hand or even sharing a hug. it would be love at it's most raw and meaningful state. i could look into her eyes and know right away what she felt or was tryin to say to me. i think it would be wonderful...well tmr i've got work ..so i shall have sweet slumber in hopes of dreaming about my silent angel tonight...night guys
bradass at 6/04/2006 11:47:00 PM
to her
her - well i can't say too much becoz u're still somewhat a stranger to me. however, i'm just sad that things have turned out this way. he has loved you from the day, you're said yes to him. and now he's in a complete wreck. its amazing what love does to one. but i hope that you are ok as well. i'm not gonna say much ...so i'm just gonna say as much as i will be there for him, i'll be there for you as well to call upon for advice or a friend...
word to the wise
if i was in love and had the most beautiful thing ever. i would never let go of her. no matter what. becoz there will be nothing on earth that i'd rather be doing, or spending my time with or loving. it isn't about walking away from a situation. becoz every else can do the same, but its when you solve it together, that it really makes both parties stronger and love each other more. but hey, who am i to say .....
bradass at 6/04/2006 11:15:00 AM
to him
him - i know're down and out. and i know you care for her. and that she means the world to you. and that its just diff without her. but its clear that no matter what, she has decided upon the fact that you cannot be with her. so with a heavy heart you need to turn and walk away. i know its not easy, and it kills every inch of you to leave. but you have too, for the sake of yourself, if not you'll destroy who you really are.
its not easy to go thru a breakup, to me i think breaking up or having a broken heart is the worst feeling to bare with, coz you feel like you wanna die, but you can't. I wouldn't wish death on my enemy, i would wish a broken heart befall him, coz there's nothing worse and more painful to still love someone with all your heart and that person not even caring.
so do what you need to do....drink, smoke, fornicate, get a rebound gf, cry, trash your room, build a new fish tank, sports, meet new girls, friends and such...but dont sit there and let her cruel actions eat you up. you're so much stronger than this, i know you'll pull thru, but just dont let one person kill the joyous, lovable, fun loving, cocky friend i've come to know...it would be a tragedy to see this destroy who you really are....be strong my friend...and if anything just call on me ...
bradass at 6/04/2006 11:06:00 AM
Saturday, June 03, 2006
thoughts of saturday
how could i have been so blind...
is it just me? or is the world pulling a cover over my eyes
i wish it were easier to tell the truth
am i living a lie? or is it you thats lying to me?
somehow i feel so jaded by everything else and everything around me
and it seems like you dont give a dam either
so what should i do or what should i say?
i dont know how to begin...should i even begin?
why am i so fixated on this idea...somehow it doesn't seem to leave me ...it floods my mind ...but i can't seem to release it ...
maybe i should just bottle it up and throw it out to sea...
the nice-ness and sweetness seems to lure me and con me into false realizations...
i try to bite back and resist the temptation of imposing myself on that sweetness
what do i do? i'm just gonna let time do its work ...and all will fade i guess
bradass at 6/03/2006 05:37:00 PM
cravings
bloody mother hamchee!
its 4.35am now ...and i just woke up becoz i'm having longan cravings
what the hell is wrong with me?
bradass at 6/03/2006 04:35:00 AM
Thursday, June 01, 2006
a boy can only wish
well i've been thinking about expanding my collection and skills
maybe a new cam is in order...
but the d200 is about 3K ...sigh
i need a sugar momma hahaha
a boy can only dream ....
bradass at 6/01/2006 11:22:00 PM
